Get ready. You’re about to get CHURCHED.
“Are you a Mary or a Martha?”
If you’re a churchie, you get this sermon on a yearly basis. If you’re a nasty heathen, let me give you the scripture reference. I’ll even use the **heathen’s version of the Bible:
As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”
I’ll tell you what *I* get out of that verse…. That Mary is a lazy b*tch! And Jesus said it’s ok to be lazy??… And, on that note, i think we all know MY answer to that famous question….
“Are you a Mary or a Martha?”
I’m like Martha on crack. Now, sometimes i enjoy what i’m doing so much that i don’t want anyone to help. I honestly do like being a hostess and tending to others…
….but, other times, i see myself doing exactly what Martha is accused of. I see myself stressing out and seeking pity for allllllll this work i’m taking on. When you look at it that way, taking on a greater workload is really just stupid. It’s a weird and perverse way to get attention. LOOK AT ME, I’M NOT GOING TO DEMAND YOUR ATTENTION, BUT I’M GOING TO FORCE YOU ALL INTO THINKING ABOUT ME AS I TWIRL AROUND YOU IN FITS OF HURRIED FRENZY.
As i was waking up on Sunday morning, i turned on the tv and caught the tail end of a sermon on this very subject. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church was preaching. If you’re ever in the Charlotte area and flipping channels on a Sunday morning and see a kinda douchy looking young guy with spikey hair and designer shirts who talks out of the side of his mouth, you should stop and give it a listen. It took me hearing him speak a few times before i began to see a genuine side to this guy, but there is certainly some good stuff under all that hair gel and charisma. He said something that really struck home with me…
“You’re all worried about your turkey and your ham and everything you’ve posted on pinterest…”
HAHA. true… except for that turkey and ham part. In conclusion: STOP BEING MARY ON CRACK.
And, once again on the topic of heathens, Christopher Hitchens lost his battle with cancer yesterday. The book God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything has been sitting at my bedside for about 2 years now, but i never made it past the first couple of chapters. Partly because i’m a lazy reader, and partly because it is tough for me to hear about people who base part of their disbelief in God on their personal experiences within the religious community.
What a sad picture religion has painted for itself.
**Please note that the heathen version of the Bible is “The Message”… but, having spent most of my life among Southern Baptists, i know that the only REAL Bible was prompted by King James… who spent a great deal of his life studying witchcraft until he learned some witches were plotting against him. That’s when he started joining in burning them. As one should. Obviously.