Today, i was on my way to work and decided to stop by the Starbucks in Target. I had a mass of emails waiting for me and a 10 minute coffee stop was worth the caffeine. Just a coffee. That’s all i needed. After 10 minutes, i walked out with a new comforter, new sheets, new towels, an iced coffee, and a little bit of dignity.
I had been fighting tears all the way there. Well, not FIGHTING really, but i was definitely strongly reprimanding those tears. I figured they would stop once i was ready to park. Nope. I sat in the lot for a few minutes. No luck. I wiped off my face the best i could and held my breath as i walked through those automatic doors. Once inside, i felt so vulnerable. Maybe there were no tears streaming down my face, but my red, puffy eyes were on display for all to see (**and to laugh at???). Instead of heading straight for the Starbucks, i walked slowly, looked down, and considered my morning. What had caused this reaction?
For months now, i’ve been sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed. It’s pretty much what i do when things are weird. It’s not necessarily because of the recent breakup, but it’s just my “non-conformity” sleeping mode. Last time i washed the sheet (2003?), i guess i replaced them upside down. When i awoke to my normal confusion of “WHAT TIME IS IT?” “WHAT DAY IS IT?” “DID I MISS ANYTHING?”, i was face to face with a small stain left from frequent bloody noses. Not my own.
Now, i can’t say that this is what wrecked my day, but i CAN say that this is the recollection that sent me straight for home decor. Replacing all of this familiar bedding felt like a triumph, but the even greater triumph came from the young perky guy working in the department…
“Are you finding everything you need today?”
I smiled an odd, but genuine, smile.
“Yes, i think i am.”
I’m pretty sure he noticed my red puffy face, but maybe he just thought i was on steroids.
The robots of my childish early thirties have officially retired and i now have a big girl bed…
The next step is getting it off of the floor. Baby steps (by Dr. Leo Marvin). For the aesthetics of the situation, i plan to add some blue piping along the frills. As for the function… i feel like it’s not my bed, so sleep may be slow at first. But, in the long run, it’s the perfect choice.
AND i’m being a rebel by not WASHING all the bedding like my mother taught me to.
Take THAT, conservative wisdom!
….oh God, please don’t let these sheets be returned…
I had given myself a 72hour holiday ban on being whiny. As of noon today, it’s over. It nearly killed me. Writing this blog felt like the first time i’ve breathed in days. It’s like my own personal oxygen concentrator and every word absorbs nitrogen like aluminosilicate minerals. …But if i’m wrong about how that thing works, don’t kill my nerd buzz.
YAY for purple! 😀
FOOTNOTE: **nobody was actually laughing… except maybe Denise.