grown up: part deux

At last glance, our heroine was headed off to college with expectations of receiving a degree in Christian Education. With said degree, she would then find a private organization, be it a church, private college, or a cult, that was willing to fund her salary to teach Bible History in a public high school.

I feel a little less foolish when i recall the scenario in third person, because this would have been a TERRIBLE career choice for me for the following reasons:

  1. I’m not good at fundraising. I always had a tough time soliciting funds, even when there was a promise of Thin Mints.
  2. The job begins at 8:00AM. That just seems unnecessary.
  3. I hate teenagers. Gosh. What complete jerks they are.

So, my life plan was obviously not an exact science. After about a month of honors religion courses, things thankfully took a turn. The freshman drama class required me to audition for the fall production. I considered it to be a cruel type of hazing. I really just wanted to live through the experience without having a panic attack, which became increasingly difficult when i was cast in a leading role. My freshman religion professor was an old guy named Dr. Jack Partain. He passed in recent years, but he was one of the most intriguing and intelligent people i have ever met. He knew his stuff and he knew how to ruffle feathers enough to see who was sincere in their quest for knowledge. When his lesson plan on the humanity of Christ was titled “The Immaculate Erection”, i knew he was secretly a comic genius.

When the local newspaper printed a photo from the production in which i was cast, Dr. Partain cut it out, brought it to class, and passed it around saying, “We have a star in our midst!” Uber embarrassing, but really sweet. After class, he pulled me aside…

“Carrie, i saw your show last night and thought you did a spectacular job! Really delightful. But grading your 5 page scriptural analysis this morning, i did not have the same sentiment. You’re failing your religion courses because you spend every day and every night at the theatre. Have you ever considered letting THAT be your focus?”

I never really knew how one went about making a living at theatre. What am i gonna do? Act? Doesn’t everyone, at some point in their life, think about how cool it would be to be an actor? It seemed an almost silly aspiration to me, but i went with it.

All through college, i wanted to be an actor. I was VERY lucky that i happened along at a time when the talent pool was a little shallow. In fact, so lucky that i never once had to deal with rejection. The times i spent onstage were some of the best of my life. They brought me my first kiss, my first love, and my best friends. But, over time, one thing became clear:

I had a desire to make the shows run as smooth as possible, but i had very little interest in becoming a better actor. After graduation, i went to 2 auditions… and that was enough rejection for me. Upon moving back to my hometown of Charlotte, i sent out an email to every theatre company i could locate. In short, i begged. I volunteered to do ANYTHING and, over time, it landed me a full-time job as a stage manager.

So, now that i’m all grown up and wise, what do i want to be?

A better stage manager.

And Elsa Billgren.

I want to be Elsa Billgren; Swedish Elle blogger and vintage goddess.

THAT’S my 2012 resolution!! What does that mean?? …I don’t know, exactly.

But give me some time. I think i’m on my way…

(I’m pretty sure the next entry will be ALL ABOUT ELSA)

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3 responses

  1. You are my favorite blogger. Seriously. I like your writing very much.

    1. 🙂 Thanks! I’m learning by trial and error, but i’m definitely starting to get into the swing of it.

      1. I agree with lydia. I enjoy everything you write. You make me laugh out loud! I also love your self portraits. You are MY Elsa!

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