…misandrist?

Carrie is so very…. misandryistic?

Carrie is so very…. misandryer?

….

Moving on.

During my short stint working in hoity toity malls, i was employed by a company called Metropolitan Deluxe. We sold modern furniture, decorative items, gag gifts, disrespectful greeting cards, candles, and an assortment of other items that were vital to the gay community. Gay men actually made up a huge percent of our business, because the company was owned by a gay man who was very conscious of buying from other companies that were also gay friendly. So, we had a gay ‘ol time… most of the time.

Some of my favorite items where from a novelty store named David and Goliath. CUTE stuff. Look them up and go buy something. Then maybe then they won’t try to SOPA me. I’d link you directly, but there’s no sense in leading the bull to the pirated water and offering him an illegally photoshopped drink, right?

Among the recognizable slogans on their merchandise, you’d find:

Now, i have never ACTUALLY thrown a rock at a boy. I do remember throwing a roll of toilet paper at my first boyfriend, but then he got all whiny, so i never moved on to anything with significant density.

Upon seeing this piece of merchandise, a gentleman approached the register and said to me:

“I would like to make a complaint about that t-shirt. I feel it is completely inappropriate. As a man, i find it very offensive. Also, i have a son and i do not feel this is a healthy slogan to be teaching children. I do not want my son feeling that women think he is intellectually inferior.”

I answered with my patent response, “You make a good point. I’ll be sure to make the manager aware of your concern.”

But, in my head, i was totally throwing rocks at him.

For the record, i do not condone anyone throwing rocks. Heck, i don’t even condone SKIPPING rocks, because it’s just going to get your hands all dirty. But i did own that t-shirt, because i find it funny. It’s not meant to be TRUE. If i wanted TRUE, i would have been wearing THIS ONE:

Would THAT make you feel better, Mr Douchey McComplainerson???

At the time of this incident, i was not as ‘chipper’ and ‘understanding’ as i am now. In fact, i felt THIS was a better slogan:

But that wouldn’t fit on the keychain. I’m guessing that’s why they went another route.

If your delicate sensibilities are offended by my completely imaginary violent tendencies toward men, i do apologize. But please know that i’m not being sexist. If i had bad relationship experiences with a woman, i’d offer her equal treatment…

There is no reason to pass up the opportunity to make a few bucks.

Truth be known, i’m too lazy to ever have a truly violent thought. Violence sounds way too close to exercise. So, for your sake… and the sake of Mr. Complain McDoucherson, i’ll stick with the more apathetic choice:

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One response

  1. Just what I needed to start my pathetic work day.

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