hostessing

I’m just going to go ahead and break it to you now that this blog is not about snack cakes.

Carry on.

I’m in the process of moving and, while others during this time may have thoughts of finance or schedule, all i can think about are the impending dinner parties. Nothing christens a new home quite like the smell of my famous spinach artichoke dip and something that i accidentally cajuned. Given unlimited resources and more exciting friends, i bet i could throw one heck of a dinner party.

Since sharing is an important part of the human experience, i’m going to share with you my Celebrity Dinner Party wishes. Also, i’m trying to procrastinate in any way possible.

GUEST #1:

There are only 2 groups of people who don’t love Craig Bierko: 1- People who don’t know who the hell he is and 2- Nazis. I find him to be strange and hysterical, which are 2 of my favorite qualities in a potential party guest. The fact that i wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with him is completely beside the point.

GUEST #2:

Conan is obviously a necessity to any dinner party.

In honor of my first 2 guests, i will now share this awesome clip. Yes, i have shared it before. Yes, i like repetition. Yes.

GUEST #3:

Because Eddie Izzard is a genius. I’ve heard he’s a bit of a jerk, but i’d be content if he’d just show up drunk and run around saying, “I’m covered in beeeeeeeeees!”.

 GUEST #4:

You really can’t have too much funny at a dinner party…… can you?

GUEST #5, #6, & #7

This is my favorite mother-daughter-grandmother trio: Debbie Reynolds would mean that the evening would include at least ONE song and dance number, Carrie Fischer would follow it up by drinking too much and telling me what a terrible person Debbie Reynolds is, and Joely Fischer would simply ensure that someone is showing more cleavage than me.

GUEST #8:

Every party needs an introvert to sit in the corner, observe, and, once everyone has consumed a little too much wine, offer some deep thoughts for discussion. I’d like to think Donald Miller would do that at my party.

GUEST #9:

Not that Colin Farrell’s presence needs an explanation, but it is important to note that he and i would actually have a common topic to discuss. His son shares the same rare disorder as my brother. I’ve never met anyone else with experience with Angelman Syndrome. Also, his voice is like the sound like a thousand sexy angels.

GUEST #10:

Yep. That’s right. I’m letting you come to my Celebrity Dinner Party. You kinda owe me now.

Who is coming to YOUR dinner party??

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