In the days of celebrity gossip, mindless memes, and other senseless cyber chatter, it’s nice when a social movement comes along to remind me of what’s important. Don’t think i don’t enjoy a good internet meme though. Because i do. See exhibit A.
But, in an attempt to advance beyond that, i decided to join in the current 31 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING that was trending on Facebook. Every day there are new posts about Thankfulness. I toootally decided to do that. Aaaaand failed miserably. This post is my way of arriving fashionably late to the Thankful party.
I AM THANKFUL FOR A NEW HOME
I’m moving out of the condo i have been renting for about 8 years and into my grandmother’s house. My Mamaw Cranford moved into an assisted living facility back in January and the house has been sitting empty. Moving in there, my rent will be helping my family pay for her keeping. It’s nice to know that i will not only be getting my own place, but will also assist the family in some way. Let’s face it, i’ve been draining those people for 37 years now, so it’s about time i find a way to pitch in. Here’s the house:
Of course, there aren’t usually so many tables full of crap on the front lawn. It still needs a good bit of work. I’ll be posting about the renovations soon.
And here’s the old deed to the land that i found while sorting through my grandmother’s things:
I. Shit. You. Not.
I mean, not that it would stop ME from living there, because i am the whitest girl possible. I don’t even care for Motown.
I AM THANKFUL FOR NOT BEING RACIST
Excluding instances of extreme humor.
I AM THANKFUL FOR MEN WITH BEARDS
Recently, i had some chances to kiss a man with a beard. If he’d give me the opportunity, i’d do it again too.
I AM THANKFUL THAT MY CONDO WASN’T ON FIRE LAST NIGHT
As i was washing my face last night, i suddenly realized the room was a little smokey. …but, seriously, there was smoke. I smelled the distinct odor of my cooking. Only, i wasn’t cooking. It smelled a bit like cajuned plastic. And if anyone could cajun plastic, it would be me. I was struck with panic. But not panic like NORMAL people have. CARRIE PANIC. I thought to myself, “If i open my bedroom door and see a room full of smoke and flames, i’m going to need to run outside. I may have no choice but to wait for the fire department as i watch all that i own go up in flames. In that case, i’m going to go ahead and put on a bra before i go check.” As it turns out, there was a lamp in my bedroom whose plastic shade was just a little too close to the bulb. It’s experiences like these that teach you a lot about yourself. I learned that wearing a bra is more important than the threat of being burned alive.
I AM THANKFUL THAT AN ENGLISH TEACHER HAS NOT KILLED ME IN MY SLEEP
Dear Grammar Nazi,
I want to apologize for the hyperventilating that must occur each time you attempt to read my blog. I end with prepositions, i misuse words, i make up words, i put the punctuation outside of the quotation marks, i use commas too liberally, i have no #&%*ing clue what to do with a semicolon, and i certainly never capitalize my “i”. And that’s because i just don’t care.
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY
It could be a lot worse.
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FAITH
Faith is a weird thing, but i’m glad i have it. There was once a blogger named “Real Live Preacher” who had what some might call a rather liberal and inclusive view of Christianity and was therefore branded a heretic. Christians actually LOVE heretics, but only after a few hundred years pass. He said…
“We think having faith means being convinced God exists in the same way we are convinced a chair exists. People who cannot be completely convinced of God’s existence think faith is impossible. Not so. People who doubt can have great faith because faith is something you do, not something you think. God, I don’t have great faith, but I can be faithful. My belief in you may be seasonal, but my faithfulness will not. I will follow in the way of Christ. I will act as though my life and the lives of others matter. I will love.”
…and that’s awesome, because that’s how i feel. And remember…
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY JOB
My job is better than your job. Sure, you make more money than i do, but i get the satisfaction of job security… because i keep everything in such a state of disarray that no one would be able to locate anything without me.
I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU
Most of you were led here because we are friends. You probably saw the link i posted on Facebook and figured you didn’t have anything else important going on right now. Maybe you’re waiting on the pumpkin pie in the oven or maybe you’re waiting to put that load of laundry in the dryer. It may not be much, but i appreciate that you took the time to stop in. Some of you are only here because you googled “asian baby”. The phrase “asian baby” is by far the most common search term that gets many of you here. Asian baby Asian baby Asian baby. Nevertheless, i’m glad you were led here. There is something about sharing your thoughts that soothes me. When i’m happy, my postings are few, but when i get worried, i need people to listen. Thank you for that.
So, in the most non-politically correct way i can, let me say to each of you…