As i’m sure you may have noticed by now, the world did not end. We’re still here. I’m still here. This poorly maintained blog is still here.
It’s just a fact of life that every generation thinks “the end” is near. You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both. And then you have Armageddon. The Christian community is always screaming “end days!” whenever some new immorality takes place. There is really no such thing as a “new” immorality. It’s just the same old sins dressed in updated fashions. Nothing is getting worse. The ebb and flow of suckiness is just as constantly flowing as it ever has been. And there is no place that this is more evident that within our own individual lives.
2012 has been an ebb and flow kind of year. I am indeed feeling optimistic about the coming year, but i don’t want to spoil it with unnecessary expectations, so i’m concentrating on trying to live in the moment. Now, this whole ‘living in the moment’ is not something at which i excel. I’m a worrier, a thinker, and a planner. I’m always trying to make the best decisions and punishing myself accordingly each time i inevitably fail. Enough of that. I’m attempting to take things one day at a time, just like Bonnie Franklin. It’s not easy, but i’ve already begun making careless decisions lately, just to get in the habit…. and i’m about to have a panic attack over here just thinking about it.
So my New Year’s resolutions will short and sweet:
#1- Minimize the self hate.
This is the biggie. It’s time to stop accepting the degradation that some others have placed upon me and begin to realize that i’m worth creating a better life for myself. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve failed at the “lose weight” resolution, but i’ve realized that it’s an issue of believing that i’m worth creating that healthier lifestyle. I’ve seen many friends successfully change their lives this year by losing weight. I don’t think they are any more equipped for the challenge that i am, but they do have a self-esteem that i lack. I’m hoping those good vibes will rub off on me.
#2- Get a man who eats the dark meat.
That’s not a weird euphemism. I promise. I just realized that i’m wasting a lot of money on these rotisserie chickens, considering i only eat white meat. I don’t expect anything fancy, or showstopping, and i don’t have unrealistic expectation, but it only seems logical that i have a man to split my chicken. …..Again, not a euphemism.
#3- Steal this kid.
Seriously, you guys. She’s freakin’ cute. And i just can’t imagine that i’m going to be anyone’s first choice for breeding, so i’m making kidnapping arrangement. Although i prefer the term ‘surprise adoption’. I think she resembles me enough that no one would suspect a thing.
#4- Avoid grooming products that look like sex toys.
…and vice-versa, just to be safe.
#5- Find the balance between financial insecurity and guilt.
This is the other big one for me. I should probably dedicate an entire blog to this issue in order to explain the insanity that is my brain. But, in short, i need to do more for others. And i should stop buying those fancy soaps. Their environmental claims do little to ease to my mind when i think of the starving foul-mouthed children who would love the chance to wash their mouths out with Mrs Myers Lemon Verbena.
#6- Embrace the crazy.
There is really no point in trying to pretend to be cool. Or pretend to have it all together. Or pretend to be anything other than a ridiculous woman who probably fulfills every one of those terrible stereotypes that women have been fighting to overcome for decades now.
#7- Care just a little bit about grammar.
#8- Stop taking these Facebook ads so personally:
As for my wish for the rest of you (and myself as well), i feel there is nothing i can say that Neil Gaiman can’t say better:
Welcome 2013! Let’s be friends!