Remember that one time when Facebook was all about posting “20 THINGS ABOUT ME”?? yeah. I liked that. I think that makes me a narcissist.
20 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I’ve kept a plant alive for 5 years. That’s a record for me.
…but it is currently having a few issues…
2. I have 2 piercings in my left ear only because, when i was in middle school, my mom found 1 diamond earring and i thought it was a shame to let a real diamond go to waste. Then i lost it.
3. I don’t want a diamond ever again. Lots of reasons, both economical and environmental. All of you who are planning proposals should make note. I’ll take one of these instead:
4. I could watch The Italian Job over and over and over.
Weird, i know.
4. I think my attraction to a man’s hands is the reason i seldom hold hands with people i don’t know well.
5. Also, i have hot, clammy palms. Always.
6. When i watch the news, i cry genuine tears. Therefore, i don’t watch the news.
7. For my 8th birthday, i received a Kodak instant camera. That same year, Polaroid sued and Kodak stopped producing the camera… and the film.
8. I just wrote a song that rhymes “shiitake” with “bukkake”.
9. I once had cookies and milk with Neil Young’s son.
10. As a child, i had dreams of inventing a machine that would turn Barbie clothes into life sized outfits.
11. When Marshall and Lily broke off their engagement, i was sincerely heartbroken. When Xander left Anya at the altar, i was sincerely heartbroken.
12. I have a longstanding crush on George Burns.
13. I am also genuinely heartbroken that the Verizon guy is gay.
14. I enjoy the smell of skunk.
14. I was a virgin until i was 26 years old. Some people think that’s weird, but i like that about me.
15. In the midst of a conversation, i just sent my best friend this message: “Well, i personally find the sunglasses much worse than the hairy ass. But, all in all, it’s just a disaster of photographic proportions.” Yep. We’re classy dames.
16. When the mini-series North and South first aired in 1985, i would go to sleep each night imagining myself living the life of Irish beauty Constance Hazzard.
17. I’m neither for nor against spanking children. I suppose some need it and some don’t. I know that i personally only got spanked for bad grades and THAT was RIDICULOUS. Didn’t help one bit.
18. The words i always misspell: scenario, occasion, vacuum, accidentally, and misspell.
19. When i was in high school, i frequently spent the night with a friend who would fall asleep listening to Pauly Shore’s stand up. I swear the word “BEAVER” haunted me in my dreams for years.
20. There are only 19 interesting things about me.