This is the part of the blog where i apologize for not keeping you up to date.
And this is the part of the blog where i am delightfully self-deprecating and win back your favor.
Were i to give you daily updates, i’m sure that those who know me would be impressed to find out that i’ve been on that #&@*ing treadmill nearly every day. I seem to be dropping pounds fairy well. However, not well enough for me to celebrate yet. When that time comes, i’ll meet you at Sabor for Taco Tuesday and add it all back.
If you’re tuning in to catch up on my regularly scheduled indecent proposals from online gentlemen, you’re out of luck. In an unexpected plot twist, my move to Tinder (rather than the classic OKCupid) has been overwhelmingly tame.
HOWEVER i HAVE been taking unprecedented steps forward in the dating world! … and by “unprecedented steps forward”, i mean i’ve been on 2 dates.
Please. Hold your applause.
The first was an awesome guy. Just awesome.
I was like, “Yep. I found one. I’m done.”
Imagine my surprise when i was informed that’s not how it works. Apparently those men are actively seeing a NUMBER of women and not just ME. Hard to believe, i know.
So i accepted the inevitable and moved on to another fella. We had a pretty darn delightful cup of coffee.
I WAS ON A LEGIT ROLL.
But not everyone is quite as chivalrous as those gentlemen.
Such as the man who has been quite actively texting me for the past 2 days. On a scale of honorable intentions, i’d rate him somewhere between Bill Cosby and the boyfriend in Adventures in Babysitting.
But at what point does an old maid accept defeat and learn to draw something other than stick figures???
This is the part of the blog where you chuckle.
Tune in next time, when you’ll hear Carr!e say…
“No, i don’t know what knotting is. Can you explain it?”